Small town businesses are weird

My wife and I are members at the local food co-op, largely because you never quite know what you’re going to find there. From locally-grown produce, to fair trade baskets from Africa, to Buddha’s Hand citrus fruits from…I don’t remember where. Anyway, walking through there is always an experience. Every so often though, you don’t even have to head there to get a little taste of the unexpected. Case in point, they’re having a “Cheese Madness” event right now, with samples and brackets where their top cheeses face off against one another, until only one is left, voted in as the ultimate cheese. I’m not sure why they chose cheese for their March Madness parody, but it does bring us to today’s word.

rennet, noun – an enzyme used in the making of cheese

Learned from: Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Playstation 4, mobile, PC, XBox One)

Developed by ArtPlay

Published by 505 Games, Netease (2019)

Bloodstained is Castlevania in everything but name–even to the point where it was produced by Koji Igurashi, one of the heavy-hitters behind the later Castlevania games. It’s got the atmosphere, the complex maps, the varied combat, but it also includes some subsystems that were absent from most if its inspiration: namely, crafting.

Gather up the right materials, and you can create things you’d expect, like new weapons and armor, but you can also cook food to use for healing and permanent stat boosts. If you’re particularly masochistic, you can try to recreate an increasingly complicated and vague series of recipes for an old lady who can barely remember her own name, let alone the food she used to enjoy. So she’ll say she wants to taste the “portable snack” she used to love, or something “fluffy,” or something as obtuse as a “novel idea.” She rewards you if you get it right, but some of the recipes in Bloodstained are a pain to put together. Some are simple, like using wheat to make dough, to make noodles. But say you want to make a pizza…well, you need that wheat to make the dough, but you also need tomatoes, whatever the toppings are, and milk and rennet to make cheese. But you can’t just have all the base ingredients in your possession; no, that would be too easy. Unless they’ve patched it out, you needed to make every intermediate component by hand, before you could get to the final product. The rewards were usually worth it, but getting there was an uphill battle sometimes.

How fitting.

I was working on making dinner today, when an onion I was slicing up slid under my hand, and I ended up doing the knife-equivalent of whacking my thumb with a hammer. For such a relatively small wound, it bled a surprising amount. Which brings us to today’s word.

imbrued, verb – past tense of imbrue, to stain, particularly with blood

Learned from: Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Playstation 4, PC, Switch, XBox One, mobile)

Developed by ArtPlay, Wayforward

Published by 505 Games (2019)

When I found my first Imbrued Skull, I thought it was a typo of “imbued.” But the rest of the translation had been pretty solid, and nothing in the item’s description suggested it was imbued with anything (except perhaps blood). So, on a whim I looked it up, and yeah, it’s just a very tongue-in-cheek play on words, considering the game it’s from.

I actually kind of respect that, because while <i>Bloodstained</i> is <i>Castlevania</i> in everything but name, it’s got enough self-awareness to give it a slightly playful identity all its own. Sure, there’s themes of human experimentation, and demonology, and all that, but you’ve also got a bumbling villager who keeps getting lost, despite all your efforts to help him get home, an old lady who just wants to eat all her favorite foods one last time before she dies, and the occasional fourth wall-breaking joke. And somehow, it all works.

What a terrible night to have a bloody hand injury…

Back to normal?

Well, two days ago marked the official start of a new era in United States politics. That sounds a bit melodramatic, but the past four years have felt much, much longer. And I know the problems inherent in, and responsible for those four years won’t just go away overnight, but we can hope they were ultimately an aberration. Which brings us to today’s word.

ergodic, adj. – the tendency for a system to even out to a baseline value over time

Learned from: Oxenfree (Playstation 4, Mac, Mobile, PC, Nintendo Switch, XBox One)

Developed by Night School Studio

Published by Night School Studio (2016)

Disclaimer: The definition above is significantly simplified. The exact meaning is rather technical, and seems to vary slightly depending on which dictionary I use to look it up. This is perhaps fitting, considering the term in the game applied to a theory of thermodynamics.

Oxenfree is an interesting horror-themed adventure game. Sort of a sci-fi, coming of age, ghost story…kind of. You play (mostly) as Alex, a girl who gets invited to a party on an abandoned island one summer. Once you’re there, you and your friends accidentally make contact with…something through your portable radio, and end up in a struggle for your lives against the entities on the island. Much like today’s word, this synopsis is over-simplified, but I don’t want to give spoilers, because the narrative really is good, with dialogue choices that seem to matter, and some really neat twists.

Anyway, at one point, you discover the notes of someone who was researching the entities, and it’s in this person’s study that you find, among other things, books on ergodic thermodynamics. You know, just a bit of light reading while your friends are getting possessed, and reality itself is warping around you.

Damn teenagers, always on their radios, opening rifts in space-time…

Pluto is in marmalade: ill fortune!

I probably shouldn’t joke about this too loudly; given the propensity toward essential oils and goji berries that some people in my country have, I don’t want to give them ideas about regressing to Medieval “cures” for diseases. And this is related to today’s word, but first I’d like to apologize for being gone for so long. I was training someone in at work for a few weeks, and life in general had gotten more draining somehow. But I did find some time amidst all that to play a few games. Such as this one.

borage, noun – a flowering herb native to the Mediterranean; also known as starflower

Learned from: Astrologaster (PC, mobile)

Developed by Nyamnyam

Published by Nyamnyam (2019)

Astrologaster is sort of a fully-narrated choose your own adventure game. You play as “doctor” Simon Forman, a 16th-century astrologer who sets his sights on medicine after the stars tell him how to cure the plague (a cure he calls “strong water,” which includes, among other things, borage). The only problem is, he doesn’t have a medical license. Since posing as a doctor without a license is a crime in Elizabethan Londan, Simon sets out to acquire one the only way he knows how–not through study and scholarship, but through providing sound medical advice through astrology. What could possibly go wrong?

And it’s not just people’s health that you’ll be dealing with. You’ll also consult the stars to offer advice on investments, love affairs, and even military campaigns. Things can go horribly (and at times hilariously) awry, and you can intentionally sabotage people if you want, but it’ll make it harder to get the recommendations you need to get your license.

That is, of course, when Simon isn’t sabotaging himself. Without spoiling anything, I will say that he becomes a rather…unlikable character as the story goes on, doing things behind the scenes that the player (as far as I can tell) has no control over. This made it a bit of a chore to finish the game, in all honesty, because after awhile I wasn’t really sure I wanted to see him succeed. Still, there’s a colorful cast of characters, some solid voice acting, and writing that’s genuinely funny at times. If the overall premise sounds appealing, you’ll probably enjoy Astrologaster to some extent.

borage

Fun fact: While edible (and pretty), borage contains chemicals that may be carcinogenic. Not recommended for the treatment of plague.

1,000 Points of Light

By this point, I’m sure most of you know about the situation in Australia. If somehow you aren’t, the continent is on fire. Millions of animals have died, thousands of people have been displaced, and as of right now, the fires show no signs of stopping. Today’s word should be self-explanatory….

inferno, noun – an intense, uncontrollable blaze

Learned from: Shadowgate (Apple IIGS, Atari ST, Amiga, CD-I, Game Boy Color, Macintosh, NES, Palm OS, PC, mobile phone)

Developed by ICOM Simulations, Inc.

Published by Mindscape (1987), (Kemco, 1989 for the NES)

Far from the real-world horrorscape that is Australia right now, opening a door to find just an entire chasm full of fire seems downright passe. Shadowgate was known for being unpredictable. Each door, or hatch, or hallway could just as easily lead to a wizard’s laboratory, or a dragon’s hoard, or a bridge over a sea of flames. The sheer variety of scenes led to an equally broad set of creative solutions in order to progress.

Sadly, there’s no icy crystal orb we can shatter against the ground to put out the infernos raging across Australia. Indeed, once you see some of the photos from the area, it can be easy to feel like there’s no solution at all. And for any one of us, that’s true. Fortunately, fixing this–or any other problem of this scope–doesn’t fall on the shoulders of any one person. The most any one of us can do is what we can. If you’re inclined to spit in the face of impossible odds, and do all that anyone could ask, this article has a list of things you can do to help, at the bottom. Again, no one person could be expected to do all of them, but any of us could do at least one.

Creepy stuff knows no season

I know Halloween was awhile ago, but recently on my way to work, I walked through a scene straight out of a horror movie. But first, today’s word.

eviscerate, verb – to disembowel; to remove the entrails

Learned from: Quake (PC, Mac, Nintendo 64, Sega Saturn, mobile)

Developed by id Software (PC), Lobotomy Software (Saturn), Midway Games (N64)

Published by GT Interactive (PC), MacSoft (Mac), Sega (Saturn), Midway Games (N64) (1996)

Quake had a lot of personality, from the Lovecraftian overtones, to the goading messages taunting you whenever you went to quit the game, to the death messages unique for every monster that could kill you. The most memorable one for me was, “You’ve been eviscerated by a fiend.”

At the time, the graphics were pretty much first-generation 3D. Character models were blocky, animations were stiff and jerky, and blood was just a spray of square red pixels. Obviously, they couldn’t effectively display every unique death with the technology of the time, but flavor text like this really lent a vivid level of detail as to exactly what happened to your character…and now, to continue the story.

So, I pass by a cemetery on my way to work, which is enclosed by a wrought-iron fence. I’m going along like normal, until something catches my eye along the fence: a beachball-sized area of the fence itself, where it looked like something had been either pulverized against the side of the fence, or else staked on the spikes at the top. The main area was a bloody mess, with bits of hair and actual flesh still clinging to the posts. It had dripped down the fence, to a patch of grass the size of a coffee table–I should clarify, it had soaked a patch of grass the size of a coffee table. And as I followed it off the grass, I realized I was standing in a smear of blood that trailed all the way down the hill, occasionally meandering to the edge of the sidewalk and pooling. As if whatever it was had dragged itself as far as it could, before stopping periodically to regain a bit of strength, before forcing itself onward.

It was too late in the year to be a Halloween prank, and there was far too much blood for it to have been a bird that flew into the fence or something (and again, hair, not feathers was sticking to the metal). At the time, I was at a complete loss, but rather freaked out; after some consideration, the best explanation I have, is that a deer tried to jump the fence, and didn’t make it…yet managed to tear itself off the spikes, and continue on its way…which is pretty horrifying, in and of itself.

Quake seems downright tame, by comparison.

04a-fiend

Far less bloody than what I (literally) walked through.

Because it feels like I’ve been living under a rock…

October ended up being a very busy month for me. Besides the joys of homeownership requiring a lot of attention, I also got put in charge of training at work, which is pretty stressful for an introvert. Throw in Halloween commitments, and figuring out logistics for some things later this year, and it really does feel like I’ve been locked away for several weeks. Which, in a roundabout way, brings us to today’s word.

undercroft, noun – a brick-lined cellar

Learned from: The Letter (PC, Mac, Mobile)

Developed by Yangyang Mobile

Published by Yangyang Mobile (2017)

Given that it was October, I wanted to play at least one horror-themed game, and I’d picked up this visual novel on Steam during a sale awhile back. It plays out through the viewpoints of several characters, but the story centers around the sale of a huge mansion with a checkered past. Obviously, something is Very Very Wrong (TM), and you get to see the various characters get wrapped up in the supernatural events over the course of a…rather plodding plot. It starts out fairly strong, but there are some characters I honestly didn’t like enough to care whether they lived or died, and the story unfortunately spends as much time with them, as with more likable members of the cast. It also doesn’t help that the game is riddled with typos and grammatical errors, as well as the fact that it sometimes doesn’t seem to know what tone it wants to have (e.g. the property is the “Ermengarde Mansion,” which seems like it should indicate a lighthearted tone full of puns and memes…except they never really do anything with it. It just sits there like a turd in a punch bowl).

Anyway, the first character you play is the real estate agent who’s hoping to find a buyer for this problematic property. In showing one set of potential clients around, one of them notices a trapdoor in the kitchen that leads to the undercroft. But surely nothing horrible would ever happen in a dusty old wine cellar beneath a trapdoor, right?

letter

Belated happy Halloween, and all that. Sadly, this game is a lot less scary than this image would imply.

Cool story, sis.

I got into a friendly argument with a friend of mine about retro-styled games recently, where I said one trend that should stay dead and buried is full-motion video. We both grew up during the initial FMV fad, but I actually owned a Sega CD, and remember all too well renting things like Corpse Killer and Surgical Strike, and being very underwhelmed. I’m also a bit disgruntled that this style of game seems to be making a comeback.

His argument was that the medium has come a long way in the past twenty years, and there’ve been some good FMV games made recently. I didn’t believe him, which ended with him gifting me a copy of Her Story on Steam. Which brings us to today’s word.

glazier, noun – a craftsman who cuts and fits glass

Learned from: Her Story (PC, Mac, mobile)

Developed by Sam Barlow

Published by Sam Barlow (2015)

Some people would be hard-pressed to call Her Story a game, but if visual novels count as games, and this has more interactivity than many of them, then it fits the bill. You’re kind of just thrown into the interface, which is a police database that you can search through, using keywords. Each valid keyword gives you video clip(s), which might contain other keywords to search for, until you piece together what happened in the case. It’s an interesting (if cumbersome) format, and only one actor ever appears on screen in an interrogation room, responding to questions you never actually hear. Your mileage on the story itself might vary, depending on how much themes like motherhood stir you (they don’t do much for me, personally), but as an experiment, it was a decent mystery doled out piecemeal. I’ve certainly played worse games, but I don’t know if I’m exactly on the FMV renaissance bandwagon either.

Anyway, as you’re cobbling together a chain of events, you eventually learn that some of the characters worked at a glazier’s. Soon, the theme of mirrors and reflections becomes prominent in the story, so it’s of more metaphorical relevance than anything directly relating to the case. It gets a little heavy-handed by the end, but at least Sam Barlow tried to be artsy and sophisticated.

All in all, I can’t necessarily recommend spending money on Her Story. It’s a very short experience (I “beat” it in less than two hours), and there’s not really any replay value. At least something like Sewer Shark, as flawed as it was, had enough gameplay to feasibly make it worth revisiting. And that’s a flaw with FMV games–the director only recorded so much footage, and once you’ve seen it all, if there’s nothing else to the experience, there’s no point in going back. Unless it’s a really good set of clips, but let’s face it: Most FMV titles are more Sharknado than Avengers Endgame.

herstory

For what it’s worth, this actress delivered the lines she was given pretty well.

Happy Easter

As a kid, the whole Easter Bunny thing never made sense to me, because rabbits clearly don’t lay eggs. As I grew older, their roles as symbols of fertility became clearer, which tie strongly into Easter’s pre-Christian roots, so it started to make more sense. But in the spirit of my youthful confusion, here’s a word that references a completely different nonsensical belief regarding what hatches from what.

anatiferous, adj. – Producing ducks or geese.

Learned from: Skullgirls (PS3, Android, iOS, PC, PS4, Switch, XBox 360, XBox One)

Developed by Reverge Labs

Published by Autumn Games, Konami (2012)

Skullgirls has the distinction of being one of the quirkiest fighting games I’ve ever played, from its character designs, to its old-timey theater aesthetic, to the fact that every combo has an associated descriptor. For example, a 7-hit combo is “Lucky,” while an 18-hit combo is “Barely Legal,” and so on. For some reason, a 32-hit combo is “Anatiferous.” It’s inexplicable in the game, and even the history of the word fails to shed any light on the reasons why it’s there.

See, at one point in time, it was believed that barnacle geese hatched from barnacles on the sides of ships. As if that weren’t weird enough, people somehow got the notion that the barnacles themselves grew on trees, and dropped off into the water, before floating over to ships and attaching themselves. Because geese hatching from barnacles hanging from trees would just be silly. I marvel at what kind of worldview must have prevailed at that time, to not only come up with this idea, but to somehow make it stick.

barnacle_goose

Even the goose is unimpressed by its origin story.