My coworkers can’t spell

In the back storage room where I work, there’s a bunch of stuff that probably hasn’t been touched in years: paper files dating back almost a decade, microfilm copies of records that are older still, outdated equipment, etc. There is also, inexplicably, a plastic container of 3.5″ floppy disks, labeled, and I quote: “MICS DISCS”. Putting aside the fact that “discs” should be spelled with a K in this instance, they abbreviated “miscellaneous” wrong. Which brings to mind today’s word.

miscellaneous, adj. – not falling into any set category, having numerous and varied traits

Learned from: Dragon Wars (Apple II, Amiga, Commodore 64, Tandy, PC)

Developed by Interplay Productions, Kemco (NES version)

Published by Activision (1989)

Dragon Wars was a first-person dungeon crawler, that had more of an RPG aspect than some other games in the genre (there were actually NPCs to talk to, and choices you made actually mattered, so it wasn’t all about the combat/puzzles). It was a difficult, at times weird game that had an unexpected amount of depth. And to some degree, that depth extended to the magic system.

There weren’t really character classes in Dragon Wars, per se, and it was really a character’s stats and training that determined what they were good at. So, you might have someone who’s really skilled in Sun Magic, but had no High Magic spells. If I remember correctly, there were five schools of magic: Low (entry-level stuff), High (better versions of Low spells, and more versatility), Sun (for those who really wanted to cast the spells that make the people fall down), Druid (less damage, more summoning), and finally, Miscellaneous. I don’t think there were many spells in Miscellaneous Magic, and thematically they didn’t seem to fit anywhere else–sort of a haste spell, and a high damage spell that wasn’t elemental or sun-based, I think. There may have been more, but I honestly don’t recall. But if it really was only that handful, it seems like they could’ve found some way to tweak them so they’d fit in a different school, and get rid of the pointless appendix that was Miscellaneous Magic.

Just like we should really just get rid of “MICS DISCS” at work. I’m sure Mic won’t miss them.

dragon_wars

Unrelated note, but I really do miss hand-painted box art. They don’t make ’em like this anymore.

1,000 Points of Light

By this point, I’m sure most of you know about the situation in Australia. If somehow you aren’t, the continent is on fire. Millions of animals have died, thousands of people have been displaced, and as of right now, the fires show no signs of stopping. Today’s word should be self-explanatory….

inferno, noun – an intense, uncontrollable blaze

Learned from: Shadowgate (Apple IIGS, Atari ST, Amiga, CD-I, Game Boy Color, Macintosh, NES, Palm OS, PC, mobile phone)

Developed by ICOM Simulations, Inc.

Published by Mindscape (1987), (Kemco, 1989 for the NES)

Far from the real-world horrorscape that is Australia right now, opening a door to find just an entire chasm full of fire seems downright passe. Shadowgate was known for being unpredictable. Each door, or hatch, or hallway could just as easily lead to a wizard’s laboratory, or a dragon’s hoard, or a bridge over a sea of flames. The sheer variety of scenes led to an equally broad set of creative solutions in order to progress.

Sadly, there’s no icy crystal orb we can shatter against the ground to put out the infernos raging across Australia. Indeed, once you see some of the photos from the area, it can be easy to feel like there’s no solution at all. And for any one of us, that’s true. Fortunately, fixing this–or any other problem of this scope–doesn’t fall on the shoulders of any one person. The most any one of us can do is what we can. If you’re inclined to spit in the face of impossible odds, and do all that anyone could ask, this article has a list of things you can do to help, at the bottom. Again, no one person could be expected to do all of them, but any of us could do at least one.

Happy New Year

Ye gods, the holidays are busy. Between social obligations, longer hours at work, and an unfortunately-timed head cold, I haven’t had a lot of time to sit and focus on this project. I did have time to bake two surprisingly gigantic loaves of cardamom bread, after discovering how much my wife likes that particular spice…which brings us to today’s word.

pestle noun – a club-shaped utensil for pounding or grinding material in a mortar

Learned from: Tower of Doom (Intellivision)

Developed by Mattel Electronics

Published by INTV Corporation (1987)

So, the recipe I was using called for ground cardamom, but all we had on hand were whole seeds. After grinding them by hand, I think Home Ec. should count as a gym class substitute–those things were tough! Also, the entire house smelled wonderful for days afterward, so it was totally worth it.

As for the game itself, Tower of Doom is one of the first roguelike games I ever played, and certainly the first one I played with real-time combat. The story was simple: You’re stuck in a labyrinthine tower full of monsters and traps, and you have to find your way out. For some inexplicable reason, you start at the top of the tower, but coherent plots generally weren’t a high priority back in the ’80s.

In traditional roguelike fashion, besides the enemies, the tower was filled with a variety of mysterious items that had different effects, each time you played. So, that red potion might heal you, or poison you, or make you blind. The same thing went for scrolls, wands, mortars & pestles, etc. Tower of Doom was actually pretty complex for a console game of its time, and thinking back, the Intellivision actually had a lot of games like that. It was a system ahead of its time, and the fact that they’re going to be reviving it this year with the Intellivision Amico makes me smile.

tower_of_doom

I mean, look at this: a procedural map, inventory system, health bar. This was impressive stuff for a system whose games were only a few kilobytes.

No catchy title this time

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just go the direct route. I was going to do a Thanksgiving post, but around that time, my cat was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor that was dramatically lessening her quality of life. After making one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make, I haven’t felt terribly witty. She was a wonderful little creature, and I miss her every day, but at the same time, I know life has to go on. It just might take me a bit of time to get back into the swing of things. Baby steps, and all that. Which brings us to today’s word:

lacrimation, noun – excessive crying

Learned from: Remnant: From the Ashes (PS4, PC, XBox One)

Developed by Gunfire Games

Published by Perfect World Entertainment (2019)

A lot of people refer to Remnant as “Dark Souls with guns,” which is a disservice for several reasons. First, that title better fits Immortal: Unchained, and second, because Remnant is really more reminiscent of Diablo than Dark Souls. There’s a strong emphasis on loot (though it’s more crafting than finding), there’s a strong multiplayer component, and its levels are procedurally generated. It’s also a really good game, which makes it kind of a shame that it’s being largely overshadowed by Borderlands 3, which came out just a bit after it.

The story takes place on a post-apocalyptic Earth, that’s been overrun by malignant, tree-like creatures called The Root. Exactly how they came to invade is revealed bit by bit, but in broad strokes, it involves experiments conducted on entities called Orphans, that opened up passages between different worlds. The logs from these experiments read like something from the SCP Foundation, which I actually rather like. Anyway, on particular entity named Clementine reacted to other Orphans with lacrimation.

Too much more beyond that gets into spoiler territory, and while the story isn’t necessarily the strongest part of Remnant, it’s still worth experiencing fresh. And it’s worth checking out just for the solid gunplay, frantic boss fights, and cool monster designs.

Remnant-From-the-Ashes

Even the dragons are distinctive.

Creepy stuff knows no season

I know Halloween was awhile ago, but recently on my way to work, I walked through a scene straight out of a horror movie. But first, today’s word.

eviscerate, verb – to disembowel; to remove the entrails

Learned from: Quake (PC, Mac, Nintendo 64, Sega Saturn, mobile)

Developed by id Software (PC), Lobotomy Software (Saturn), Midway Games (N64)

Published by GT Interactive (PC), MacSoft (Mac), Sega (Saturn), Midway Games (N64) (1996)

Quake had a lot of personality, from the Lovecraftian overtones, to the goading messages taunting you whenever you went to quit the game, to the death messages unique for every monster that could kill you. The most memorable one for me was, “You’ve been eviscerated by a fiend.”

At the time, the graphics were pretty much first-generation 3D. Character models were blocky, animations were stiff and jerky, and blood was just a spray of square red pixels. Obviously, they couldn’t effectively display every unique death with the technology of the time, but flavor text like this really lent a vivid level of detail as to exactly what happened to your character…and now, to continue the story.

So, I pass by a cemetery on my way to work, which is enclosed by a wrought-iron fence. I’m going along like normal, until something catches my eye along the fence: a beachball-sized area of the fence itself, where it looked like something had been either pulverized against the side of the fence, or else staked on the spikes at the top. The main area was a bloody mess, with bits of hair and actual flesh still clinging to the posts. It had dripped down the fence, to a patch of grass the size of a coffee table–I should clarify, it had soaked a patch of grass the size of a coffee table. And as I followed it off the grass, I realized I was standing in a smear of blood that trailed all the way down the hill, occasionally meandering to the edge of the sidewalk and pooling. As if whatever it was had dragged itself as far as it could, before stopping periodically to regain a bit of strength, before forcing itself onward.

It was too late in the year to be a Halloween prank, and there was far too much blood for it to have been a bird that flew into the fence or something (and again, hair, not feathers was sticking to the metal). At the time, I was at a complete loss, but rather freaked out; after some consideration, the best explanation I have, is that a deer tried to jump the fence, and didn’t make it…yet managed to tear itself off the spikes, and continue on its way…which is pretty horrifying, in and of itself.

Quake seems downright tame, by comparison.

04a-fiend

Far less bloody than what I (literally) walked through.

Because it feels like I’ve been living under a rock…

October ended up being a very busy month for me. Besides the joys of homeownership requiring a lot of attention, I also got put in charge of training at work, which is pretty stressful for an introvert. Throw in Halloween commitments, and figuring out logistics for some things later this year, and it really does feel like I’ve been locked away for several weeks. Which, in a roundabout way, brings us to today’s word.

undercroft, noun – a brick-lined cellar

Learned from: The Letter (PC, Mac, Mobile)

Developed by Yangyang Mobile

Published by Yangyang Mobile (2017)

Given that it was October, I wanted to play at least one horror-themed game, and I’d picked up this visual novel on Steam during a sale awhile back. It plays out through the viewpoints of several characters, but the story centers around the sale of a huge mansion with a checkered past. Obviously, something is Very Very Wrong (TM), and you get to see the various characters get wrapped up in the supernatural events over the course of a…rather plodding plot. It starts out fairly strong, but there are some characters I honestly didn’t like enough to care whether they lived or died, and the story unfortunately spends as much time with them, as with more likable members of the cast. It also doesn’t help that the game is riddled with typos and grammatical errors, as well as the fact that it sometimes doesn’t seem to know what tone it wants to have (e.g. the property is the “Ermengarde Mansion,” which seems like it should indicate a lighthearted tone full of puns and memes…except they never really do anything with it. It just sits there like a turd in a punch bowl).

Anyway, the first character you play is the real estate agent who’s hoping to find a buyer for this problematic property. In showing one set of potential clients around, one of them notices a trapdoor in the kitchen that leads to the undercroft. But surely nothing horrible would ever happen in a dusty old wine cellar beneath a trapdoor, right?

letter

Belated happy Halloween, and all that. Sadly, this game is a lot less scary than this image would imply.

Have fun storming the castle!

By now, you’ve likely heard about the…situation with Blizzard. If you haven’t, here’s the short version: Following a championship match of Hearthstone, one of the players used his post-game interview time to deliver a political statement advocating for the liberation of Hong Kong from China. Blizzard had a fit, took back his prize money, and banned him from competition for a year–and essentially fired the commentators that just so happened to be on the stream at the time, even though they tried to get off-camera when they realized what was happening. (These bans were later scaled back to six months, but still…) In the following days, things only got worse, as Blizzard delivered conflicting press releases to Western and Eastern audiences, failed to enact the same penalties to streamers who did the same thing (because they were on Western streams), went against one of their own company tenets that everyone should have a voice, regardless of who they are or where they’re from, and in general have just kept digging themselves a deeper hole.

And yeah, I get that they’re a company, and profits are quite literally the bottom line. And China is a huge market. But the undeniable message here, is that Blizzard (an American company, mind you), is fine with denying people freedom of speech, in favor of the promise of profits from an authoritarian regime. People are understandably angry about this, I’d say. You might even say that Blizzard is under siege by its own (former?) fans. Which brings us to today’s word.

ballista, noun – a medieval siege weapon in the shape of a large crossbow

Learned from: Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness (PC, Mac, Playstation, Sega Saturn)

Developed by Blizzard Entertainment

Published by Blizzard Entertainment (1995)

Once upon a time, Blizzard was a respectable company, making games full of heart, charm, and love of the medium. Warcraft II was a perfect example of this, with a ton of little details and Easter eggs (Christmas lights on the trees and buildings in the winter maps, units that would say funny things if you clicked on them a lot, etc.). And while the orcs and the humans had different looking units, most of them functioned the same. Goblin sappers and dwarven sappers both blew up the same amount of terrain; trolls threw axes and elves shot bows, but they had about the same range and damage; catapults and ballistae both flung heavy projectiles over about the same distance, etc. The handful of differences were in the magics wielded by each side, and that actually imbalanced the game pretty heavily in favor of the orcs, but it was still a fun game for its time…back when Blizzard actually cared about making things fun, instead of just profitable.

blizzard_china

I can’t take credit for this image, but it sums up the current situation quite nicely.

Stuck in an infinite loop

It’s been longer than I’d intended, since my last post, but life has gotten crazy as the joys of homeownership have reared their ugly heads, one after another. First, the process of refinishing my deck took weeks due to inclement weather, then there was a problem with my fireplace randomly turning itself on, and then I discovered a leak in the ceiling, after the most recent bout of rain. Just one bloody thing after another, seeming to never end. Which brings us to today’s word.

lemniscate, noun – a curve in the shape of a figure-eight, or infinity symbol

Learned from: AI: The Somnium Files (Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, PC)

Developed by Spike Chunsoft

Published by Spike Chunsoft (2019)

I don’t know when the months of August through October became the new holiday season for games, but holy crap, is there a lot of good stuff coming out in that span, this year! From big name blockbusters like Borderlands 3, to stylish takes on old formulas like Code Vein, to surprising niche titles like AI: The Somnium Files, there’s something for everyone, and much of it is pretty solid.

AI is a cyberpunk murder/mystery visual novel, in a subgenre that has a surprising number of entries, when you stop and consider it. (Observer, Read Only Memories, VA-11 HALL-A, Detroit: Become Human, etc.) And aside from maybe Read Only Memories, AI is the quirkiest one I’ve played so far. Think, mixing all of those other games with a dash of Deadly Premonition, and that’s kind of the atmosphere this one has going for it, and I’m really digging it so far. Anyway, you play as Date, an investigator for a secret branch of the police force, and the game starts you looking into a case that’s suspiciously similar to something that happened to Date himself, six years ago. The plot has you cooperating with your A.I. partner (who’s also your prosthetic left eye), to dive into people’s memories, to try and work through their mental locks that are hiding information on the case that they might not even realize they know. Things get pretty surreal, and kinda goofy at times, but it’s great.

One of the characters you run into in your investigation is an idol singer named Iris, who works for a company called Lemniscate, and manages to get herself tangled up in the case. I haven’t gotten far enough in the game to know for sure yet, but I’d wager that name wasn’t chosen at random, and that it has some deeper significance to the case–just like Iris herself very well might. But I’m juggling several different games right now, so it might be awhile before I find out for sure. What I can say with certainty though, is that if you like visual novels, narratives that are a bit off-kilter, the cyberpunk genre, or mysteries (or puns–your A.I. partner is an “A.I.-Ball” for example), you should probably check this one out. It’s been entirely overshadowed by bigger titles coming out around the same time, and it deserves more recognition.

Iris is the one on the right. Sweet, innocent, totally-not-conniving Iris…

The root of the problem

So, today is 9/11, and I debated whether or not to make a post. After all, it was a terrible event, the effects of which still resonate strongly with many people–myself included. It’s one of those “where were you when” moments, that people carry with them for the rest of their lives. But at the same time, it wouldn’t have felt right to say nothing at all, considering this year, an entire generation has been born, and gone through school since it happened. A generation who’s too young to even have witnessed the towers coming down, and might still be asking themselves what would drive people to do something like that. One could argue there are many reasons, but I’d posit that a strong contender is hatred of the Other. Which brings us to today’s word.

odium, noun – intense hatred or contempt

Learned from: Odium (PC, Mac)

Developed by Metropolis Software, Hyperion Entertainment (Linux)

Published by Monolith Productions (Windows), Linux Game Publishing (Linux), e.p.i.c. Interactive (Mac) (1999)

Known in other regions as Gorky 17, Odium is kind of what you’d get if you took an early Resident Evil, and made it into an isometric, turn-based strategy game. You control a team of commandos, sent to investigate some weird goings-on at a top-secret research lab in Poland, only to find it’s been overrun by biomechanical horrors. It wasn’t a terribly good game, but it was a deceptively difficult one. Even the early monsters frequently hit you for at least half a health kit’s worth of damage, which doesn’t seem too bad at first, when supplies are plentiful. But soon you’re entering combats with your troops at half health, just to try and conserve what few healing items you have left. It doesn’t help that new (harder-hitting) monster types are introduced in almost every battle, giving you even less time to breathe and find your footing.

I never got far enough to discover why the game was renamed Odium for the US release, but the word seemed fitting. Hatred of the Other stems from ignorance and tribalism. When the only people you feel you can trust are from your own group, that tends to engender a sense that anyone outside that group is somehow untrustworthy/unclean/evil. And sadly, 18 years later, rather than bringing all of us together, one need only to look at the political climate in this country to see that tribalism has only gotten worse. Except this time, it’s from within our own population, instead of from without.

I know it sounds vaguely hippie-ish to say that a nation can’t survive if its citizens are at each other’s throats, but we’ve seen what happens when that sort of fear-mongering takes hold elsewhere in the world. It doesn’t take much imagination to see how prolonged exposure to that sort of thing will end up within our own borders.

A wise, green alien once said that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. And despite Yoda being a muppet, he’s right; hatred leads to all sorts of terrible things, like flying planes into buildings, or driving cars into crowds of people, or shooting up schools. So, on the anniversary of this particular tragedy, I implore you to remember it by trying to rise above what caused it. There’s a lot of shit wrong with this world, but hating people of a different religion, or race, or political leaning isn’t going to do a damn thing to make it better.

odium

Just like slapping an edgy title on a mediocre game won’t make it any less disappointing.

Cool story, sis.

I got into a friendly argument with a friend of mine about retro-styled games recently, where I said one trend that should stay dead and buried is full-motion video. We both grew up during the initial FMV fad, but I actually owned a Sega CD, and remember all too well renting things like Corpse Killer and Surgical Strike, and being very underwhelmed. I’m also a bit disgruntled that this style of game seems to be making a comeback.

His argument was that the medium has come a long way in the past twenty years, and there’ve been some good FMV games made recently. I didn’t believe him, which ended with him gifting me a copy of Her Story on Steam. Which brings us to today’s word.

glazier, noun – a craftsman who cuts and fits glass

Learned from: Her Story (PC, Mac, mobile)

Developed by Sam Barlow

Published by Sam Barlow (2015)

Some people would be hard-pressed to call Her Story a game, but if visual novels count as games, and this has more interactivity than many of them, then it fits the bill. You’re kind of just thrown into the interface, which is a police database that you can search through, using keywords. Each valid keyword gives you video clip(s), which might contain other keywords to search for, until you piece together what happened in the case. It’s an interesting (if cumbersome) format, and only one actor ever appears on screen in an interrogation room, responding to questions you never actually hear. Your mileage on the story itself might vary, depending on how much themes like motherhood stir you (they don’t do much for me, personally), but as an experiment, it was a decent mystery doled out piecemeal. I’ve certainly played worse games, but I don’t know if I’m exactly on the FMV renaissance bandwagon either.

Anyway, as you’re cobbling together a chain of events, you eventually learn that some of the characters worked at a glazier’s. Soon, the theme of mirrors and reflections becomes prominent in the story, so it’s of more metaphorical relevance than anything directly relating to the case. It gets a little heavy-handed by the end, but at least Sam Barlow tried to be artsy and sophisticated.

All in all, I can’t necessarily recommend spending money on Her Story. It’s a very short experience (I “beat” it in less than two hours), and there’s not really any replay value. At least something like Sewer Shark, as flawed as it was, had enough gameplay to feasibly make it worth revisiting. And that’s a flaw with FMV games–the director only recorded so much footage, and once you’ve seen it all, if there’s nothing else to the experience, there’s no point in going back. Unless it’s a really good set of clips, but let’s face it: Most FMV titles are more Sharknado than Avengers Endgame.

herstory

For what it’s worth, this actress delivered the lines she was given pretty well.