Jinkies

The 1990s were an interesting time in the United States. The “Satanic Panic” of the ’80s was dying down, but panic over AIDS and street crime was kicking into high gear. Sleeping with an intern was somehow enough to trigger impeachment hearings for a sitting president. The “war on drugs” was unironically going full-steam ahead, and even before the “war on terror” kicked off, the military was beginning to dabble in wars–excuse me, “military operations”–for oil. And despite all the chaos and absurdity of that decade, looking back at it, those were simpler times. Which brings us to today’s word.

jink, verb – to abruptly change direction

Learned from: Desert Strike (Genesis, Amiga, Game Boy, Game Gear, Atari Lynx, Mac, PC, Super Nintendo, PSP)

Developed by Electronic Arts, Foresight New Media (PC version), Ocean Software (Game Boy version)

Published by Electronic Arts (1992)

Operation Desert Storm, the quick assault on Iraq after they invaded Kuwait, was the first thing approaching a war that kids in the ’90s were really exposed to, and to say that it captured the public consciousness is an understatement. I mean, just look at how many platforms this hastily-coded game released on. Still, despite capitalizing on a contemporary, real-world conflict, Desert Strike created a splash (and several sequels) for good reason.

First, it was different from pretty much everything else on the console market at the time, with impressively large maps and complete freedom of movement. Desert Strike wasn’t really a shmup; it was slower-paced, the levels didn’t auto-scroll, and you could move your helicopter forward, back, left and right, and even jink on a dime to try and dodge projectiles. Add in a decent array of weapons and enemy vehicles, and the experience was really quite memorable.

I couldn’t really see something like this getting released today, for a variety of reasons: the problematic game-ification of a questionable military assault; giving the leader of a fictitious Middle Eastern country the name “Kilbaba”; etc. But like I said, simpler times.

Also, back then we used to at least *pretend* we were fighting against tyranny…

Hope you enjoy the series finale

It’s July 4th (Independence Day, for those of you outside the US), as I write this, and I find myself in a rather melancholy state of mind. This has always been one of my least-favorite holidays to begin with–it’s loud, the events are always crowded, and most of the festivities take place outside during the hottest stretch of the year–but given recent events, I feel like there isn’t much reason to celebrate at all. Er…I mean, everything is totally fine here, and we definitely haven’t just handed the president the powers of a king, which the felonious maniac whose cult will probably elect him in November will wield to punish any opposition once he’s back in office, and never abdicate the throne. Everything is great. Just great. How are you? Let’s talk about eagles.

eyrie, noun – an eagle’s nest

Learned from: Shivers (PC, Mac)

Developed by Sierra On-Line

Published by Sierra On-Line (1995)

I really kind of miss Sierra On-Line. You could argue that their adventure games weren’t as polished as the ones made by Lucas Arts (also RIP), but man, were they memorable. Take Shivers, for example. The game starts with you, a teenager, being dared to spend the night inside Professor Windlenot’s Museum of the Strange and Unusual–a Ripley’s Believe It or Not type of place, that never finished construction after the eponymous Prof. Windlenot disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Being that it was abandoned, you have to get creative about finding a way in, and once you’re inside, you find yourself trapped with the evil spirits from one of the exhibits that likely killed the professor. From there, it’s a struggle for survival as you make your way through all the weird (sometimes cursed) stuff Windlenot collected over the years, searching for a way to contain the spirits and get out alive.

Part of the fun of Shivers was never quite knowing what you’d find in the next room. You’ll go from exhibits about torture devices, to ancient Egypt, to an entire section devoted to optical illusions, to strange things found in nature–like the world’s biggest eyrie. As I remember, it takes up most of the room it’s in, and I was always worried something was going to reach/jump out from inside it, as I edged my way around its massive bulk. But it was just one memorable scene from a game that was full of them. Sure, it’s a bit dated at this point, but it’s still worth a play.

And, it’s like six bucks on GOG.com: https://www.gog.com/en/game/shivers

I’ll take “Things I haven’t had much of for a few weeks,” for $400.

So, I caught COVID for the first time recently, and it’s really taken the wind out of my sails. Even in the aftermath. I’d hesitate to say I have “long COVID” at this point, but I’ve been dealing with some stuff, not the least of which is that I seem to be getting tired more easily than I used to. Which brings us to today’s word.

vim, noun – energy, exuberance

Learned from: Diablo (PC, Mac, PS1)

Developed by Blizzard North, Climax Studios (PS1 version)

Published by Blizzard Entertainment, Davidson & Associates, Electronic Arts (PS1 version) (1997)

The first Diablo was a formative experience for me. I’d played a few roguelike games before (from Fatal Labyrinth on the Genesis, all the way back to AD&D: Treasure of Tarmin on the Intellivision), but Diablo was the first game of its type I played that A) Had real-time combat, and B) Told a cohesive story, with NPCs and everything. It was also much more of a power fantasy than anything that came before it; despite its grimdark setting with the forces of Hell rising up to take over the world, your lone rogue, sorcerer, or warrior would be slicing through hordes of demons like butter, as magic items fell from them like rain. Well, you had a lone hero unless you ventured into the lawless, buggy, cheater-filled wasteland of online play. That was fun in its own way, but you never knew when someone was going to use an exploit to steal that shiny new sword you just found.

And man, was that gear shiny. You never knew what any monster or chest was going to drop at any given time, any more than you knew what the layout of the dungeon was going to be. That skeleton could drop just another potion, or a Diamond Battleax of the Whale could come flying out of its pile of bones. The basic-tier magic items in Diablo had stats determined by (often ridiculous) combinations of prefixes and suffixes. In the example above, that battleax would have pretty good magic resistance from the “diamond” prefix, and would give you a ton of health from the “whale” suffix.

Vim was a lesser vitality-increasing suffix. Really nothing special after about the midpoint of the game, but certainly better than a garbage item with no traits at all–or worse, something like a Rusted Breatplate of Frailty that would actually lower your defense and strength. The first Diablo was a far less forgiving game than its successors, and I will always have a soft spot for it because of that. It was nowhere near as polished or feature-rich as Diablo II, or even the recently-released Last Epoch (which is really quite good, and a much better game than Diablo IV), but it had a lot of elements the later games did away with: outright harmful items, a random rotation of quests on each playthrough, shrines whose effects were unknown until you tried them, etc. I’d say it’s still worth revisiting today, if you can put up with a bit of clunkiness.

“I am here to destroy the world! And your free time!”

Enough to make you sick

The weather here has been…weird, lately. It’s the middle of June, and temperatures have been in the 50s (Fahrenheit)…except when they’re in the 80s or 90s. Sometimes back and forth within the span of a few days. Those kinds of swings are a shock to the system, and prime conditions for people to fall ill…which makes today’s word fitting on a variety of levels.

emesis, noun – the act of vomiting

Learned from: System Shock (PC, Mac, Playstation 5, XBox Series X/S)

Developed by LookingGlass Technologies (original), Nightdive Studios (remake)

Published by Origin Systems (original, 1994), Prime Matter (remake, 2023)

The original System Shock is a game I never got the chance to play, growing up, but over the years I’d heard nothing but acclaim for it. Being the inspiration for everything from the Bioshock games, to Prey, to Dead Space (or so I’ve heard), it sounded like a hugely influential piece of gaming history that I’d missed out on. So when I heard there was a remake in the works, I was very intrigued, to say the least.

I’m not very far into it yet, but I’m already enjoying the heck out of this cyberpunk nightmare scenario, odd visual style aside. You’re cast in the role of a hacker who gets busted for stealing the schematics for a military-grade implant. A representative of the company you burgled recognizes your skill, and offers to cut you a deal: he’ll give you the implant, your freedom, and scrub your record clean. And all you have to do is head up to a company space station, and disable the ethical safeguards on SHODAN, the AI that’s running the place. What could go wrong?*

To his credit, the company rep does keep his end of the bargain. But you wake up from your surgery sometime later, to find the station…well, let’s just say in a very, very bad state. And initially, after scrounging around the various stethoscopes and emesis basins scattered around the medbay, you find a lead pipe to defend yourself with, as you venture into the bowels of the station to try and figure out how to fix the horrible thing you’ve done–or at least, survive.

As I said, I’m only near the beginning so far, but the setup is fantastic, and the gameplay, while more complex than your average shooter, is fun. I can see why it’s regarded as a classic.

*You could end up creating GLaDOS’s meaner, crazier ancestor, that’s what.

You should know this; you’ve been to court

The meetings we have at work are almost universally useless. This wouldn’t be so bad, if they didn’t occur first thing in the morning, before we even open for business. But every so often, something catches my ear, such as today, when one of my bosses didn’t know what the word “litigious” meant.

I work for very stable geniuses. But it does bring us to today’s word.

litigation, noun – the process of bringing legal action against an entity

Learned from: Descent II (PC, Mac, Playstation)

Developed by Parallax Software

Published by Interplay Productions (1996)

I played a bit of Doom and Quake, back in the day, but I was primarily a Descent guy. Sure, it pretty much required a joystick, and multiplayer was a pain and a half to set up, but not being bound by gravity was such a novel experience. And when you did get a multiplayer match going, it allowed for a ton of strategic gameplay, especially when you factored in the impressive variety of weapons at your disposal.

Descent II was the best entry in the series, by far, even if it had the weakest story. Not that “there are berserk robots in this mining colony; go destroy them” was Pulitzer material in the first game, mind you. But the sequel starts with your employer saying essentially, “Hey, you’re still under contract. Go kill these other murderous robots, or we’ll sue you.” At the time, I had no idea what litigation was, but when I looked it up, I realized that these games are really set in a pretty dystopian future–yeah, you just saved company property, but get your nose back to the grindstone and keep risking your life if you don’t want to be penniless and/or in jail. I didn’t dwell on it too much, because the gameplay was so fun, but a part of my 13-year-old brain still realized this was a pretty crappy situation for your character to be in.

My copy didn’t come bundled with 100 free hours of AOL. That would’ve saved my parents like, $50, probably. The early Internet was a a nightmare, kids.

Put some spring in your step

It’s April, which means for most places in the northern hemisphere, it’s springtime. And while that’s technically true where I live as well, you’d never know it. The snow is starting to melt, but it’s still easily a foot deep in a lot of places, and it’ll be some time before we start seeing flowers come up. Which brings us to today’s word.

hippeastrum, noun – a genus of evergreen plants with large, red flowers, native to tropical and subtropical regions

Learned from: The Excavation of Hob’s Barrow (PC, Mac)

Developed by Cloak and Dagger Games

Published by Wadjet Eye Games (2022)

The Excavation of Hob’s Barrow is a slow-burn horror adventure game, where you play archaeologist, Thomasina Bateman as she arrives in the remote English town of Bewlay, hoping to excavate the titular barrow. Things quickly go wrong, but in ways that are only subtly insidious at first: the person you’re supposed to meet is nowhere to be found, your partner never arrives with your supplies…or the money you need to even pay for lodging, and everyone in town seems just a little…off. But maybe they’re just not used to strangers; yeah, that’s probably it.

What develops is a rather impressive bit of folk horror that’s heavy on atmosphere and light on any straight-up scares for most of it. Instead, you quickly find yourself wondering just who you can trust, what’s going on behind the scenes, and how far you’re willing to go to achieve your goals. And of course, there are some convoluted puzzles to solve as you go–if you’ve played The Secret of Monkey Island, or King’s Quest, you’ve got an idea of what you’re in store for.

For instance, you need to get your hands on some hippeastrum flowers, so you can convince an old lady to bake puddings for a stuck-up aristocrat. But before you can do that, you need to track down a missing milk man, so that the maid who’s in love with him might look the other way when you go to procure them, and…you know, standard adventure game stuff.

Still, despite how absurd some of the puzzles can get, there’s a solid Gothic mystery to enjoy here, with elements of isolation and creeping dread that seep in from the get-go, and never really leave. Plus, it’s all voice acted (and competently at that), so if you like old-school adventure games with an aesthetic to match, there’s a lot to enjoy here.

The pixel art really doesn’t do these flowers justice.

Back to normal?

Well, two days ago marked the official start of a new era in United States politics. That sounds a bit melodramatic, but the past four years have felt much, much longer. And I know the problems inherent in, and responsible for those four years won’t just go away overnight, but we can hope they were ultimately an aberration. Which brings us to today’s word.

ergodic, adj. – the tendency for a system to even out to a baseline value over time

Learned from: Oxenfree (Playstation 4, Mac, Mobile, PC, Nintendo Switch, XBox One)

Developed by Night School Studio

Published by Night School Studio (2016)

Disclaimer: The definition above is significantly simplified. The exact meaning is rather technical, and seems to vary slightly depending on which dictionary I use to look it up. This is perhaps fitting, considering the term in the game applied to a theory of thermodynamics.

Oxenfree is an interesting horror-themed adventure game. Sort of a sci-fi, coming of age, ghost story…kind of. You play (mostly) as Alex, a girl who gets invited to a party on an abandoned island one summer. Once you’re there, you and your friends accidentally make contact with…something through your portable radio, and end up in a struggle for your lives against the entities on the island. Much like today’s word, this synopsis is over-simplified, but I don’t want to give spoilers, because the narrative really is good, with dialogue choices that seem to matter, and some really neat twists.

Anyway, at one point, you discover the notes of someone who was researching the entities, and it’s in this person’s study that you find, among other things, books on ergodic thermodynamics. You know, just a bit of light reading while your friends are getting possessed, and reality itself is warping around you.

Damn teenagers, always on their radios, opening rifts in space-time…

Have a very scary solstice

December is chock-full of holidays, and regardless of their individual religious connections, there’s a very good reason for that: the winter solstice. During the darkest time of the year, when the days–let alone the nights–are freezing, and light seems to be fading from the world, people needed an excuse to be happy. Even before 2020. Today’s word isn’t the happiest, but it does fit, thematically.

fuliginous, adj. – sooty, smoky, dirty

Learned from: Darkest Dungeon (PC, Mac, mobile, Playstation 4, Playstation Vita, Switch, XBox One)

Developed by Red Hook Studios

Published by Red Hook Studios (2016)

I have a certain fondness for games that are punishingly difficult: Dark Souls and its ilk, the Shin Megami Tensei series, etc. Darkest Dungeon is no exception. Your characters are as likely to go insane from the stress of exploring your family’s estate, as they are to die of actual physical damage. Pathological fears, obsessive compulsions, and strange fixations can cripple them more than any injury or disease. And sometimes when one of them succumbs to this stress, they have some colorful, almost H.P. Lovecraft-level purple prose to accompany it–such as the occultist who cried out about the pull of the “fuliginous abyss” calling to him, or something like that, before he lunged for the clearly evil altar in the middle of the room.

So yeah, your characters will occasionally do things that are outside your control, and those things can sometimes lead to the death of your entire party, like when they activate a ritual to open a rift in time and space, and some tentacled horror picks them apart, one by one. As long as you don’t mind setbacks like that, it’s an incredible game.

Pay to win

A friend of mine recently talked me into trying out Crusader Kings III, since it was on sale on Steam. And while I’m still just getting started, I’ve already learned quite a lot from this game, like dukes wielded more power and governed more land than counts (who were on the same level as earls), and that all of them outranked barons. And that’s just something I picked up from the tutorial section, along with today’s word.

scutage, noun – a tax imposed by a Medieval lord, in place of military service

Learned from: Crusader Kings III (PC, Mac)

Developed by Paradox Development Studio

Published by Paradox Interactive (2020)

I never knew just buying your way out of fighting was an option, until I played Crusader Kings III. I’d always just assumed that if your king went to war, and raised the call to arms, that was that (short of some Game of Thrones-style political scheming and treason). But it seems in some situations, if a baron, or count, or whatever thought that some of their able-bodied men would be put to better use tilling the fields or something, they could try to arrange payment of scutage in lieu of providing troops.

This is interesting, because the idea of rich people simply buying their way out of their obligations and responsibilities is most assuredly an outdated relic of the past, along with witch burnings, and treating all diseases with leeches. Right?

“While I like taking over new lands, I do also like people giving me money….”

So, about the Archon series…

I realize with my last post, I jumped into the sequel without talking much about the game that came first, though I have learned words from both of them. In an odd, meta-narrative way, this is actually fitting, since I did play Archon II before I ever gave the first one a shot. Since they’re both pretty fun games, with different things to offer, I felt I should give the original some attention. Which brings us to today’s word.

manticore, noun – a mythical creature with the head of a man, the body of a lion, and the tail of a scorpion, also (sometimes) the wings of a bat

Learned from: Archon: The Light and the Dark (Apple II, Atari 8-bit, Commodore 64, Amiga, PC, Macintosh, NES, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum, PC-88)

Developed by Free Fall Associates

Published by Electronic Arts (1983)

In many ways, the first Archon is a much more straightforward game than its sequel. It has the same system where if two units land on the same square, the screen shifts to an abstract representation of the battlefield, where you fight in real-time, but there’s less environment variety. Instead of elemental planes, you’ve got what amounts to a chessboard with white and black squares. The gimmick comes in the fact that the board undergoes a constant day/night cycle, where the Light side is stronger during the day (and on white squares), while the Dark side is stronger at night (and on black spaces). There are also in-between squares that shift colors along with the time of day. This injects a bit of strategy, where your most mobile units can get to the enemy leader faster, but taking them to their max range in a turn might leave them on the wrong-colored square as day/night is approaching.

And oh, are there a lot of unit types. From basic soldiers, to trolls, to shapeshifters, to the manticore. The description of it above comes from Arabian mythology, and I have to admit, it’s pretty cool…but at the time, I had no idea what I was supposed to be looking at. The thing was just a vaguely quadrupedal mass of blue pixels, with something that looked as much like a satellite dish as a tail. Not exactly frightening. Thankfully, my parents had an encyclopedia with a better illustration, and from that point on, my imagination filled in the blanks better than any graphics of the time could have (cheesy as that probably sounds).

archon

If this looks like an old album cover, you’re not entirely wrong. Some games from this era came in what were essentially record sleeves.